[Gustav]

BUT NOW I'M INSECURE AND I CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK

"Why do I even bother..." His words were punctuated by the thunk of a stone against one of the wooden targets down in the arena. He was glad that the Sand Wraiths were home safely, but it wasn't because of anything he'd done, he could have been absent and they would have ended up safe, probably without the almost dying part as well. It was just the cherry on top of the almost constant ongoing list of things that had gone wrong, because everything always seemed to go wrong. It was hard not to believe that you really were useless when everyone and everything seemed intent on proving it to you, he never seemed to offer anything, and it was always him that was needing to be saved.

He was sitting on the edge of the drop that led into the arena, legs dangling over the side as he rested his chin against the metal bars of the roof, tossing another stone in to hit the target. Fang crooned softly beside him, mostly recovered from his injuries, though he was still unable to fly, "I really am useless...Those dragons only made it here safely because of Henry and Gummy...I was just dead weight...I'm always dead weight..." The Monstrous Nightmare nudged his side and scooted closer, coiling his tail around his little rider reassuringly, Gustav sniffed and wiped at an eye, "I know...I'm glad I have you and Henry too...I just...I wish I could do...anything...I'm sick of needing to be rescued because I can't fight...I can't talk to dragons...I don't know anything about surviving in the wild..." He looked over his hand, "I'm just...Useless..." He'd tried beyond trying, how many times could he try before he didn't have it in him to try anymore?

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[Valka Haddock]

VALKA HADDOCK "He didn't know what he was doing. He thought I belonged with him." Valka had been passing by when she spotted the boy, catching ear if what he was saying as she disembarked Cloudjumper. Henry's words had struck her too... Perhaps she should speak with this boy... it was hard to believe everyone hated him. "Henry really has quite the heart for you." She started, coming to sit beside him, Cloudjumper laid down on the opposite side of his rider, giving a toothy smile to Gustav, head tilted a little too much.  "You two make a good team together from what I've heard, wheather you do something extraordinary on a mission or not." She turned her gaze on him and smiled sweetly, "Perhaps you just need some training? All the other riders were taught their skills. It's not fair to compare your self to them when you haven't had equal opportunity." She hinted and Cloudjumper smiled to Fang, already knowing what his rider was going to offer. "And if I trained you privately then you could work at your own pace, no failing or grades."

RAZZ ♦ ADOXOGRAPHY

[Gustav]

BUT NOW I'M INSECURE AND I CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK

When he heard Valka's voice and spotted her, he immediately jumped to his feet, and also immediately clanged his head hard against the metal bars of the arena, stumbling a little as his ears rang from the metal of his helmet connecting with the metal caging, "woof....Augh...Ringing..." He shook the rattling in his brain away and fixed her with a wide eyed stare, clearly convinced she was here to scold him for something...He wasn't sure what yet, but there had to be some reason the chief's

[/i]mother[/i] was here right?!

Her words drew him up short though, and his cheeks colored, "y-yeah...Can't fathom why...B-but she seems to like me..." He laughed this off, giving both of them an awkward, crooked grin. He glanced to the side and nodded, "I guess...Still...She shouldn't have to be hauling my butt around rescuing me every step of the way! We're a team but there's not much I can do to pull my weight...She tells me I'm a leader...But I don't really feel like one..." He glanced up at her when she spoke of training him, his eyes getting wider, "you'd...I-I mean..." He sighed, leaning against Fanghook's side and throwing another rock into the arena at the target, "more like no opportunity! Because it's just easier to send Gustav off on some fool's errand! Because it's just easier to pass Gustav off to someone else! Because Gustav can't do anything right! So lets just throw him to the wolves because he's too stupid to feel hurt by it anyway!" He was pacing as he spoke, gesturing wildly.

"But it does hurt! It's always hurt! Stoick hurt me, the riders hurt me, no one ever even stopped to wonder if all the jeers and comments hurt..." He wiped at his eyes, and then let out a soft, steadying breath, and gave her a more gentle smile, "I'd love to train with you, ma'am...It...It'd really mean a lot..."

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[Valka Haddock]

VALKA HADDOCK "He didn't know what he was doing. He thought I belonged with him." Valka stood and listened to the boy's rant, leaning on her staff as she pursed her lips in thought. She felt bad this boy had been treated as such... "I won't throw you to the wolves. But that doesn't mean your training will be easy, of course." She tapped his back with her staff, "We'll see how you are after day one. I want to see what weapon you can use." She started walking, Cloudjumper nudging Fang to follow, waiting to see how things would go.  "If she's training him then I'll be working with you." He stated rather than asked.

RAZZ ♦ ADOXOGRAPHY

[Gustav]

BUT NOW I'M INSECURE AND I CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK

Gustav gave her a serious look when she stated that it wouldn't be easy, "nothing in life is ever easy, ma'am, nothing in MY life has ever been easy." He stood up a little straighter, but smiled a little, "I'm used to things not being easy, I've got more to offer than anyone ever gives me credit for." He knew this, but it was hard to remember it when everyone seemed to be content telling him otherwise. He let out a soft breath and followed after her, glancing back at Fang, who looked a little bit nervous as he was nudged by the much larger dragon. They were alike in that respect, he'd noticed it before, Fanghook tended to get jeered at by the other dragons the same way their riders did him, the Nightmare balked a little when Cloudjumper spoke, letting out a nervous croon.

"Me?" It came out as more of a nervous chirp, but he followed them anyway, ducking his head a little as they went, "working with me on what?" He couldn't quite meet the stronger dragon's eyes, the same way Gustav couldn't seem to meet Valka's.

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[Valka Haddock]

VALKA HADDOCK "He didn't know what he was doing. He thought I belonged with him." Cloud chuckled softly, "Everything. Flying. Firepower. The bond with your human. All just practice, something you can show off to other dragons and riders." He said with a chuff, "Rught now I'm curios on how Valka will handle Gustav. You two are a lot alike you know, it's good for the bond between you."   Valka led the boy into the arena, grabbing the old practice gear and targets, other dragons in their stables curiously watching as Valka set up dummies and targets and pulled out a weapon rack mostly used for kids with basic weapons on it. "Alright. Dagger first, start small."

RAZZ ♦ ADOXOGRAPHY

[Gustav]

BUT NOW I'M INSECURE AND I CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK

Fanghook relaxed a little as Cloudjumper spoke, and he nodded, looking down at the small boy with a fond look in his eyes, "people are hard on him, but he tries harder than anyone." He breathed smoke from his nose, "he's just tragically clumsy, but hardly bad luck." The dragon made a noise like a scoff, he'd heard those rumors, from humans and dragons alike, they were all so unkind to his rider, because they refused to even try and see what he saw, what Henry saw, "I was wild when he found me, I could have stayed wild, but I like Gustav, and he likes me." He looked over at Cloudjumper, "I'd be willing to learn from you though..." He turned to glance back at his injuries, more a painful reminder of what he'd almost done to Gustav than anything, "I don't want to end up hurting him again..."

"small is what I do best," He smirked, amused by his own joke at his own expense as he pulled a dagger from the rack, looking to the side at her, "just a warning, though...I am...really farsighted..." He gave a half grin, looking over at her waiting for instruction.

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[Valka Haddock]

VALKA HADDOCK "He didn't know what he was doing. He thought I belonged with him." Valka raised a brow curiously. "Far sighted? ... try throwing the dagger then, see if you can hit the target there." She knew his form wouldn't be good, as he has noodle arms, but she could show him the correct way, and if he really was far sighted then hitting targets would be a breeze. Cloud watched intently, "The other riders all stopped on that island, including Toothless and Hiccup, don't blame yourself for that, I can't train you to be immune to beetles, but I can train you to become a master flier."

RAZZ ♦ ADOXOGRAPHY

[Gustav]

BUT NOW I'M INSECURE AND I CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK

Gustav looked over at her and nodded, flipping the dagger in his hand to hold it in a position more apt for throwing, "throw it, eh? Now that's something I can manage..." He took a few paces back, until he could see the targets more clearly, or at least until they weren't swimming and blurring together in his eyes. He took a breath and squinted an eye before throwing the dagger as hard as he could, sending it whizzing right past the target and skittering across the ground, "Dang!" He looked at her and let out a soft sigh, "I always think to much...I dunno how to turn my brain off!" He chuckled, going to fetch the dagger so he could try again.

"I almost killed him...You didn't see how badly he was hurt..." He shook the thought away, of Gustav shaking on the ground, terrified of him, "I know it wasn't my fault but he's...He so small...He's so small and fragile and I could have killed him...I would have..." He shook his head again, turning a much less morose expression on the other dragon, "becoming a master flier would be pretty cool though!"

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[Valka Haddock]

VALKA HADDOCK "He didn't know what he was doing. He thought I belonged with him." Valka observed the boy and how he threw the dagger, and when he was back in place she adjusted his arm, "Keep the arm angled, and focus on the center, throw nice and hard too, okay?" She demonstrated the guesture with her arm before she walked over and moved the targets farther back. Positive in her hypothesis she stood where the boy had struck prior. "Again. Don't worry about it hitting and staying so much right now, just how your aim is." Cloud knew what it was like to almost hurt your rider... though he had seriously damaged his riders life. Sometimes he regretted that day, but now wasn't the time to wallow on it. "As long as you're willing to learn. It'll give you something to do other than watch him Train as well."

RAZZ ♦ ADOXOGRAPHY

[Gustav]

BUT NOW I'M INSECURE AND I CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK

Gustav looked over at her when she came up to him, giving her a nod when she adjusted his arm and told him what he should do, "right, got it." He looked curious when she moved the targets farther back still, waiting until she gave him the okay to throw again. He squinted his eyes a bit before flinging the dagger again, hitting the target right in the center this time, though the blade didn't stick, instead clattering to the ground, but he laughed and pointed, "I hit it! I actually hit it!" He grinned wide, going to fetch the dagger again before looking to her.

Fanghook nodded and looked back at Gustav, "if he can be so driven to overcome the things he's had happen, so can I." He looked back to Cloudjumper with a toothy grin, "so, master flier, what can you teach me?" He came and nudged him playfully, sitting close to the larger dragon.

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[Valka Haddock]

VALKA HADDOCK "He didn't know what he was doing. He thought I belonged with him." Valka beamed, nodding in approval. "See? You're a quick learner, you just need someone to teach you." She playfully punched his arm and guesture him to go back to his spot, adjusting his hold this time, explaining how to aim the knife so that it would stick, and stepped aside to watch, guesturing him to throw once more.  Cloud tilted his his head at the other dragon, "You're a good flyer by nature, but you're young. I can teach you new dives and arial stunts that could save your hide in the future, or ones that are just fun to do. Monstrous nightmares like yourself are faster than me though, so I'm sure you'll be able to do more, but I can still direct you."

RAZZ ♦ ADOXOGRAPHY

[Gustav]

BUT NOW I'M INSECURE AND I CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK

His face brightened considerably at her words, and he nodded, laughing when she punched his arm and rubbing the spot with a meaningful look, "y-yeah? Wish everyone else could see that..." He didn't let that thought bog him down long as he followed her back to the spot he'd thrown from before, letting her adjust his hold, listening carefully as she explained to him when he would need to do. When she stepped back, he nodded and poked his tongue out in concentration before throwing again, getting wide eyed when he buried it deep into the target, "yes! Gus-man 1 everyone else 0!" He laughed as he went to dig the dagger out of the target, coming back to her side, "I've always known I'd never be any good at close combat, I'm not stupid enough to think that at my size I'd be any match against guys three times bigger than me." He threw his arms around her waist without really thinking, "it's nice to know I don't have to be useless in a fight though...Thanks, mom..."

His eyes flew open when he realized what he'd just called her, and he pulled away, looking utterly mortified by it as he turned to fiddle with the dagger in his hand, trying NOT to tear up. He'd meant it, but she probably didn't want to hear that, "sorry uh...Th-that slipped out...I just...Ugh..." He pulled his helmet off his head and ran a hand through his hair, looking conflicted.

His dragon took notice of this and sighed, smoke trailing from his nostrils, he always got a bit heated when it came to the boy's mother, "good, I'd like that...I want to be the best for him like he tries to be the best for everyone else." He looked up at Cloud jumper, "he doesn't have family...Or he does...But his mother is half of his issues, he's only got me and Henry...And a couple of the other Auxiliary Riders...We're his family." He turned a smile on the bigger dragon.

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[Valka Haddock]

VALKA HADDOCK "He didn't know what he was doing. He thought I belonged with him." Valka smiled in approval. "See? All you need is a little positive training." She rested her hands on his shoulders, a little shocked he had called her that... but it felt wonderfully nice, and she shook her head with a smile, "Don't be sorry. I don't mind you calling me that." She turned him to face the targets again, "Alright sweety, lets try it again." Cloud hummed in thought, "He's a nice kid. More people will come around I'm sure." He gave Fang an affectionate bat with his wing, "Valka is already warmed up to him."

RAZZ ♦ ADOXOGRAPHY

[Gustav]

### words

for @tag

"Gustav" - "Fanghook"

Remember that your gifts are your gain

He was surprised when she assured him that he could call her mom, even though he was still fairly mortified that it happened, it brought a lump of emotion in his throat and he smiled back at her when she turned him where he stood to face the target again. When she called him sweety, the lump got more painful, and his hand trembled visibly from where it was holding the dagger before it clattered to the ground and he laughed, running a hand over his eyes, "sorry..." He laughed, picking the dagger back up, "it's...My mom never even lets me call her mom...Stupid right?" He wiped at his eyes more with his free hand, "I'm good, I'm okay..." He took a deep breath, and then turned to grin at her, "I may not make anyone else proud, but I want to make you proud, and Henry." He turned his focus back on the target, his eyes looked serious as he threw the blade, again burying it deep into its mark, fetching it again so he could repeat the process.

Fanghook nodded and turned back to the other dragon with a rumble, chortling out laughter when he was thwapped with a wing and returning it with a playful slap of his tail, "it's hard not to! When you really take the time to get to know us!" He grinned, nudging the bigger dragon playfully before dashing off.

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