Post by Hiccup on Aug 1, 2017 4:25:46 GMT
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To love
to kiss, to sweetly hold
for the dancing and the dreaming
for the dancing and the dreaming
[attr="class","itokaytext"]For a span of time after returning to Berk from the vacation he'd taken with his mother and their dragons, things had seemed to look up, or he felt like they'd been looking up, he hadn't felt that compelling need to drown himself in alcohol until he couldn't feel anything, he hadn't felt that fluttering itch of panic that had been a constant in his heart for months, and he'd gotten complacent in that respect, so when these feelings became to tickle and lick at his heels like the beginning flames of a wildfire, he ran for his life. Inevitably the other boot always drops, that was a constant fact that he'd come to accept as a harsh truth in his life, inevitably everything around him went to Hel, turned to dust, soured in his mouth, and he was feeling it now.
And like a wildfire, Hiccup was burning himself out, self destructing, it was a slow burn, his smile became less real, more forced, his tone more biting, sarcasm less good natured and more bitter. People noticed, he noticed, and he hated himself for what he saw from the backseat of a vessel he didn't quite have control over anymore. Eventually he started drinking again, like he always did these days, and it was only a matter of time before he burnt those around him as well.
It was late, far too late for anyone to be out and about, far too late for Berk's chief to be stumbling onto the saddle of his dragon, and he was far too drunk to realize what a mistake he was making. Flying when you could barely make out your hand in front of you for the swimming vision and blurred double sight was suicidal, it was the kind of reckless stupidity that he would have deeply reprimanded in his right mind. But Hiccup was far from Hiccup, and the Night Fury gave a concerned croon, not fully aware of just how out of it his rider was as Hiccup hopped up on the saddle, but it was late and the Night Fury still found himself worrying, it swirled in his gut as he took a running start and took flight.
The dragon was immediately aware that something was very wrong with Hiccup when his rider started to waver on the saddle, causing his feet and hands to jerk, which in turn jerked the dragon's course. Toothless crooned worriedly in response, trying to right himself as he felt the grip of his rider slipping.
There was little time to react when Hiccup slipped off the saddle, the tail fin snapped closed and the Night Fury made a feeble attempt to grab his rider in his legs and wings before the pair went down.
Hiccup was alert when he rolled from the dragon's wings, stumbling to his feet and letting out a frustrated noise, beyond just being stupid drunk and feeling that anger bubbling up in his gut. He always tended to go one of two ways when he got like this, he either devolved into a babbling mess, or an angry crying one, there never seemed to be an in between, eventually a volcano would blow it's top, and this wildfire was at his burnout point.
The fury that he unleashed as he slammed his fist into the nearest tree left his knuckles bleeding as he panted hard, tears streaming down his face as he yelled into the quiet of the night, the Night Fury warbled out a concerned croon as he stepped cautiously closer to his rider, wanting nothing but to help him, instead Hiccup turned an anguished expression on him, his voice cracked as he yelled, "Go away! j-just go!" The dragon stopped in his approach, but didn't make any motion to leave, "I can't! I can't keep looking at you!" His breaths were coming out in soft huffs from the effort of his emotions finally bubbling over, "I look at you and all I can see is him! And it's...It's killing me...This is fucking killing me!"
Toothless backed away a bit at these words, recognition lighting up in his eyes before his expression became guilty, he knew what Hiccup meant, and he knew what he was saying, for a while the dragon had been completely unaware of what he'd done, or that he'd been the one to do the unthinkable, but when he realized...Well he really couldn't blame Hiccup for these words, no matter how much they stung.
"Just go, Toothless! Please...Just go..." He slumped his back against a tree, sliding down until he was sitting with his knees pulled close to his chest, his breaths coming quick and hard as he sobbed in earnest for the first time in a long time.
Toothless slipped away, unable to take the pain that Hiccup was feeling as he darted through the trees, it felt so familiar, being wild like this, but if leaving for a little while to give his rider time to clear his head was what Hiccup needed, he would give him that. The Night Fury didn't stop running until he reached the farthest shore, where he stopped, tongue lolling out as he panted. Both dragon and Rider perfectly in sync as they realized that they were completely alone.
And like a wildfire, Hiccup was burning himself out, self destructing, it was a slow burn, his smile became less real, more forced, his tone more biting, sarcasm less good natured and more bitter. People noticed, he noticed, and he hated himself for what he saw from the backseat of a vessel he didn't quite have control over anymore. Eventually he started drinking again, like he always did these days, and it was only a matter of time before he burnt those around him as well.
It was late, far too late for anyone to be out and about, far too late for Berk's chief to be stumbling onto the saddle of his dragon, and he was far too drunk to realize what a mistake he was making. Flying when you could barely make out your hand in front of you for the swimming vision and blurred double sight was suicidal, it was the kind of reckless stupidity that he would have deeply reprimanded in his right mind. But Hiccup was far from Hiccup, and the Night Fury gave a concerned croon, not fully aware of just how out of it his rider was as Hiccup hopped up on the saddle, but it was late and the Night Fury still found himself worrying, it swirled in his gut as he took a running start and took flight.
The dragon was immediately aware that something was very wrong with Hiccup when his rider started to waver on the saddle, causing his feet and hands to jerk, which in turn jerked the dragon's course. Toothless crooned worriedly in response, trying to right himself as he felt the grip of his rider slipping.
There was little time to react when Hiccup slipped off the saddle, the tail fin snapped closed and the Night Fury made a feeble attempt to grab his rider in his legs and wings before the pair went down.
Hiccup was alert when he rolled from the dragon's wings, stumbling to his feet and letting out a frustrated noise, beyond just being stupid drunk and feeling that anger bubbling up in his gut. He always tended to go one of two ways when he got like this, he either devolved into a babbling mess, or an angry crying one, there never seemed to be an in between, eventually a volcano would blow it's top, and this wildfire was at his burnout point.
The fury that he unleashed as he slammed his fist into the nearest tree left his knuckles bleeding as he panted hard, tears streaming down his face as he yelled into the quiet of the night, the Night Fury warbled out a concerned croon as he stepped cautiously closer to his rider, wanting nothing but to help him, instead Hiccup turned an anguished expression on him, his voice cracked as he yelled, "Go away! j-just go!" The dragon stopped in his approach, but didn't make any motion to leave, "I can't! I can't keep looking at you!" His breaths were coming out in soft huffs from the effort of his emotions finally bubbling over, "I look at you and all I can see is him! And it's...It's killing me...This is fucking killing me!"
Toothless backed away a bit at these words, recognition lighting up in his eyes before his expression became guilty, he knew what Hiccup meant, and he knew what he was saying, for a while the dragon had been completely unaware of what he'd done, or that he'd been the one to do the unthinkable, but when he realized...Well he really couldn't blame Hiccup for these words, no matter how much they stung.
"Just go, Toothless! Please...Just go..." He slumped his back against a tree, sliding down until he was sitting with his knees pulled close to his chest, his breaths coming quick and hard as he sobbed in earnest for the first time in a long time.
Toothless slipped away, unable to take the pain that Hiccup was feeling as he darted through the trees, it felt so familiar, being wild like this, but if leaving for a little while to give his rider time to clear his head was what Hiccup needed, he would give him that. The Night Fury didn't stop running until he reached the farthest shore, where he stopped, tongue lolling out as he panted. Both dragon and Rider perfectly in sync as they realized that they were completely alone.
ⒶⓀⒾ of Adoxography and of GS
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