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Post by Hiccup on Jul 20, 2017 5:10:06 GMT
 There were nights full of nightmares and I dreaded closing my eyes
The need to disappear for a while had been creeping up on him slowly for a while now, between losing his father and being forced headfirst into a place he'd never asked for, and being stalked and harassed by a man that sickened him more than anything else, the need to seclude himself and get away from everything and everyone was becoming unbearable. He'd tried so hard to resist it, to fight back against the visceral need to not be here, to be anywhere but here, but it was too much, to many things at once, and he was sick of feeling shadowed and unsafe and...Wrong. He'd always been this way, the one who could plan on the fly, but when it came to things he couldn't handle, he always withdrew and disappeared...It had never been a problem before...But then again, he'd never had an entire village watching his every move before either, waiting for him to either stumble and fail, or live up to the chief they'd only just lost.
"It's just for a few days. they'll be fine. Probably better than fine, it's not like I've been doing any good for anyone."
He was speaking to himself, and to the dragon that he was currently saddling up, Toothless was deeply aware of the things that were haunting the mind of his rider, and the Night Fury was more than a little worried. Hiccup was losing his grip on everything around him, and if the glares and glances from some of the bigger men in the village were anything to go by, they were just waiting for him to fall, waiting for their chance to throw him down and take his title. Berk had never been a place where that sort of thing happened, but Hiccup felt those glares...Or maybe those were in his head too...It was getting harder to tell what was and wasn't the product of paranoia and his slowly breaking mind.
"Maybe someone more qualified to lead will step in...Astrid would do a better job than I ever could."
He felt like a coward, running from everyone and everything, but it was heavy and oppressive in his head, and all he was doing here was making the hurricane bigger, Berk didn't need a chief barely keeping it together, they needed someone solid and stable, someone who didn't run from their problems...And he wasn't sure if he could be that someone anymore.
"Hiccup" - "Toothless" - thoughts |
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♛𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖♛
Dragon Trainer
Popping between My site and here bc Coding probs XD
Posts: 42 
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Post by ♛𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖♛ on Jul 20, 2017 6:23:49 GMT
You leave me here wondering if I'll ever know How much you care, or how much you don't If you're going to be somebody's last time, baby be mine. “ Astrid, hearing the last of his mini monologue, leaned on a pillar, her arms crossed and a frown marring her face. She shook her head and shoved off of her perch, taking a step forward and poking Hiccup's shoulder roughly, tapping her toe."Expecting someone? Or going somewhere?"She said crossly, quirking one eyebrow and glancing at toothless, petting his head gently and listening quickly for the click of Stormfly's spines. She knew her dragon was often hot on her heels, but she didn't want her blue beauty aggravating the situation, so she flicked her hand quickly behind her, effectively halting the nadder's progress into the area.
"Hiccup, you're not running away again are you? You can't keep shutting everyone out. You can't just keep shutting me out. It's not healthy, and I'm so worried I find myself sick some mornings. Please, stop running away and talk to me. Or at least let me come with you and then talk to me. I just need you to let me in."
She sighed softly, and punched his shoulder weakly, before resting her forehead on his shoulder and sighing heavily. She was tired of him vanishing, and hoped she could convince him to let her in. At least this one time.” notes "Speech"
'Thought'
Other Notes <3 |
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Post by Hiccup on Jul 22, 2017 12:48:43 GMT
[attr="class","iconimage"] I'll never go down your road I found my way
on my own I'm never gonna fall in line, your future is not mine. | He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt the sharp prod against his shoulder, whirling with an alarmed expression that only became double so when he saw who it was.
"Whaaat, me? Leave?"
He waved a hand, trying to dismiss the notion even though his guilty expression spoke a thousand words.
"Since when have I ever..."
He trailed off, then sighed and dropped whatever act he was playing up, the humor leaving his face.
"It's just...A lot, it's a lot to deal with and I don't even know what my own thoughts are doing right now..."
He ran a hand through his hair before he leaned back against one of the wooden beams, a small smile flicking over his face when Toothless crooned at the pats from her gentle hand. She was right and he knew it, he'd always been this way, he could solve most problems that other people had with a solution literally cooked up on the spot, but when it came to things he couldn't figure out, feelings he couldn't control or situations he couldn't find a solution to, he always ran away to hide until he could. He put an arm around her when she leaned into his shoulder, his expression softening.
"Okay...You're right, I can't fix this one by myself...It's gotten to out of control. Come with me, and I'll talk."
He knew he'd get his thoughts out better if they went somewhere more secluded, somewhere where it could be just the two of them, and maybe letting someone else help him face these things in his head wouldn't hurt so bad. He sighed and gave her a tired smile as he tightened the strap on the saddle before carefully climbing onto Toothless' back, giving her a chance to be ready before they would take off.
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