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Post by Hiccup on Jul 17, 2017 7:26:56 GMT
There were nights full of nightmares and I dreaded closing my eyes
Sometimes he just had to wonder what he'd done in his life that had led to this point, where he had to look over his shoulder, where he jumped at every sound in his own home because he never knew if it was him. And he hated that the Berserker chief had gotten to him this way, made him feel afraid in his own territory, so out of sorts and out of the loop, it had taken him nearly a week to get caught up on the time he'd missed while his damn leg was broken...He was glad that that situation was sorted out now, the limb felt fairly normal all things considered, at least he was walking normally again.
But that wasn't the only thing that burned at the back of his head, settled in his stomach like a stone, made him just a little bit more testy and short with the people around him. He knew they noticed, he knew they picked up on their chief's addled state, and he knew there were several who were waiting for him to break, to stumble and fall...Or there was one man in the village who seemed to be waiting. He could feel his stare anytime he made his rounds, judging every little snap and mini-meltdown and waiting. That's why it was almost hilarious irony, that right now, he was looking for that very man's son.
Things had never been entirely steady between himself and his cousin, on a good day Snotlout was insufferable, and on a bad day he could be blatantly cruel, he'd suffered a lot of verbal torment from him...But for some reason he felt like he would get the most out of telling him what was weighing so heavily on his mind. He knew his friends well enough to know how they would take it. Astrid would lead a charge for Dagur's head, not good, because he wanted to avoid an all out war. The Twins while smarter than they projected to anyone, probably wouldn't be any help, and Heather...Well the familial bonds between her and Dagur would make this complicated for both of them, he wanted to avoid putting that on her.
Snotlout though...Even if the man was an insufferable, arrogant ass on the regular, he was also family, even if distant through their father's being half brothers, the connection was still there, and there was a part of him that trusted Snotlout more than any of them not to say anything, but if he didn't get this out now, it would build until he broke, and he couldn't afford to let that happen.
He cleared his throat as he rapped hard against the door to Snotlout's home, calling out to him, "Snotlout? You home? Don't suppose I could bother you for a bit? Go for a fly?" He stood back to wait, eyeing the Nightfury at his side, Toothless knew there was something deeply wrong with his rider, and he also knew that he was going to find out exactly what that was."Hiccup" - "Toothless" - thoughts [googlefont=Poiret One]
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Snotlout
Dragon Trainer
All My Friends Are Heathens Take It Slow
Posts: 9
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Post by Snotlout on Jul 17, 2017 23:28:06 GMT
Please Don't Make Any Sudden Moves You Don't Know Half Of The Abuse
The sudden knock at the door caused him to flinch, thinking that something had fallen over. His father had left a while ago, a new bruise added to his body from the night before when he spoke back. It wasn't proper, vikings took orders and the order was final. His heart and brain were screaming at him, telling him that this order wasn't something he could go through with. It just wasn't like him, it wasn't him, it wasn't something he even thought of doing. He wasn't that desperate, wasn't that determined, wasn't that confident.
Not nearly enough to try and take the title from his cousin.
The bruises never came to any visible part of his body when clothed, his father telling him that he didn't need a ruffian looking son. He shivered and stood up, hearing his cousins voice come from the door. He put on a cocky smile and opened the door, blue eyes hiding the thoughts brewing beneath his skin. His cousin looked like he had been through Hel and back, nervousness coming off in waves. He crossed his arms and his head tilted to the side in his signature pose, Hookfang coming from behind him, the dragons head coming just above his shoulder with a snort.
"I knew you'd come around for my awesome company, finally realized how much better I am than you?"
He flexed his arms, happily showing off the muscle only he had (despite him being slimmer than other riders). He walked out, Hookfang following suit with the saddle already on his back. A plan for a flight to help clear his head was already in motion, him being scared of what his father was asking him to do. He didn't want to hurt his cousin, Hel, his cousin had just lost his father! It was a mess, the whole thing just felt off. He mounted his dragon, giving a smile to his cousin before taking off expecting the other to follow him. Once they got into a nice costing glide he spoke, enjoying the feeling of air against his face.
"So what did you want to talk about? Of course its plenty okay if you just want to bask in my presence but admit it next time."
He gave a cocky smile and leaned back in his saddle, happy to listen to his cousin just to get away from his warring thoughts.
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Post by Hiccup on Jul 18, 2017 0:14:44 GMT
There were nights full of nightmares and I dreaded closing my eyes
Usually those remarks would earn a roll of his eyes and a sarcastic bite back, he'd gotten good at always having a comeback ready and waiting, but all he could manage this time was a halfhearted smirk and a soft snort, raising a brow a little bit, "I realized that a long time ago." He chuckled, stepping back to let him and his dragon come out. He was glad that their minds seemed to be on the same track, and he was quick to hop on Toothless' back and take flight after him. He realized he didn't do this very often with Snotlout, and he wondered if that was some dead giveaway that something was wrong, but he didn't have much family left, and he supposed that made him a lot more attached to him.
He felt better being in the sky, and almost forgot that he wasn't alone until he heard his cousin pipe up, "Hm? Oh..." He looked down, "right..." How could he even begin to explain this? The mark itched on his wrist, and uncomfortable reminder of a night he wished more than anything he could forget, "I feel like people are losing faith in me..." He kept his eyes ahead, a troubled expression, "and I don't think I blame them...I was gone for so long, and no one knew where I went." He gestured with his hands, like he usually did anytime he spoke, "then I come back and...I know I haven't been...Okay..." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "I told everyone I was just laid up in a blizzard...But I wasn't." He glanced away, a flicker of anger in his eyes, "I was with Dagur, stuck on his island with a broken leg..." His chest still burned with anger thinking about everything the man had done to him to this point.
"He wants...Things from me...Things I don't want..." His expression became disturbed at this, thinking about it settled a hollow sick into his stomach, "he's forced himself on me so many times in the last month...And I can't...He did something to me...And now I can't...I don't know what to do." He laid himself back against the black dragon's smooth form, running his hands through his hair, "I'm losing my mind, I can feel myself losing my mind..." He hated feeling so scattered and vulnerable, so insane.
"Hiccup" - "Toothless" - thoughts
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Snotlout
Dragon Trainer
All My Friends Are Heathens Take It Slow
Posts: 9
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Post by Snotlout on Jul 20, 2017 6:35:54 GMT
Please Don't Make Any Sudden Moves You Don't Know Half Of The Abuse
Out of all the things that could have come out of his cousins mouth those words were not what he had expected. He leaned back in his saddle, awkwardly listening to what had been going on with his cousin. He felt slightly sickened that a cool guy like Dagur had actually made moves on Hiccup, and he understood what his cousin was going through. Mostly since Astrid had flirted back with him at one point which led to his awakening of not wanting anything to do with that kind of attraction. He took a breath after a moment, unsure of what to say before just letting his mind run with his mouth.
"If it means anything, I haven't lost faith in you. I don't think any of us have, its the ones older than us, the ones that still believe dragons aren't awesome. Other than that, most of us think you're an amazing chief. We don't want you to be your father, we want you to be the Hiccup we know, the one who comes up with these insane ideas that somehow work. We want you to be you, your father was a great man, but I have a funny feeling that you'll be greater if you stay the way you are."
He offered a soft smile, a rare expression of true compassion for his cousin. He then thought of what had actually kept Hiccup away for so long, it wasn't his fault his leg got broken. Of course that was unless it was Dagur that broke it, but that didn't seem likely going by the attitude he apparently showed towards his cousin. He knew what it was like to have your freedoms taken away, although he was having trouble seeing the issue with it, no one had ever shown him different after all. There were things he did however, things he used to help calm himself down when he felt himself going mad under the pressure of someone wanting things from him. Hiccup had a chance to talk to Dagur, unlike he did, that could be used in the very least.
"The best thing I can tell you to do is give him a piece of your mind. Find out what you do want, and what you don't want. Don't make the list vague, make it as detailed as possible, being vague can harm your arguments for wanting something and not wanting something. Once you've got your list you go through each detail of it, argue why you do and don't want certain things, argue with yourself over it until you start to feel totally confident with your decisions on what you want and what you don't. If you start to question your arguments and find them lacking go over it again, figure out what seems amiss and then argue it from a different point of view until you are confident in every argument you bring up."
He sat there in his saddle, Hookfang gliding seamlessly in the sky without any rockiness for once as he looked to his cousin with certainty in his eyes.
"Once you've done that, you can go to Dagur and tell him exactly what you had just argued with yourself for. Tell him what you want and what you don't want, threaten him afterwards if he doesn't comply and then follow through with that threat. Don't kill him though, that would only be a way to run away from the problem and would make you look like a brutal man who killed someone who showed affection for you. Granted it might be a little more watered down than that. Also, ask him what exactly he wants as well, it will make him stop and think. He'll have to take the time you did to figure it out and maybe he'll realize he wanted something else instead. It tends to happen like that, ask him all kinds of questions to try and figure him out, like researching a dragon."
He let a loose chuckle out and paused for a moment. Did his advice even make any sense? He hoped so, he hoped it would help, he didn't like seeing his cousin like this. His expression went solemn, his gaze turning down towards the ocean that was flowing beneath them.
"Promise me something as your cousin okay? Don't to destroy yourself by overthinking. I know your self destructive tendencies, just know I'll talk with you whenever you need to. I'll also be there to smack you when you think of something stupid and let you bask in my brilliance."
There, his good deed for the day was done. He wasn't going to tell the other to allow the man to continue courting him and he wasn't saying break off ties with him either. He was simply saying for him to think for himself, and gave him the means to do it. It wouldn't be easy, but life never was that way, was it?
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